Landon

When we left the hospital the nurses gave us a memorial box for our sweet baby. Jackson and I decided we would look in it together when we were both ready. It didn't take long to feel the need to open the box. In the hospital after he was born, I of course saw his body, but Jackson felt like he didn't want to be in the room and I respect that. Everyone deals with sad situations differently and he didn't feel comfortable being in the room. I knew though he would want to know the sex of the baby and see his pictures which were in the box. Well last night was the night to open the box. He came to me and said that after he took a shower he wanted to look in the box together and of course I was ready as well. We opened the box and saw the tiny little outfit the nurses put him in to take his picture as well as the hat that he wore. Other things in the box included: hospital bracelets that normally the newborn has on to indicate who he belongs to and a blanket he was wrapped in, and then some little sentimental thing we can keep. It was very hard to look at everything especially the things that he wore because that is the ONLY thing we have that our little man had on. He weighed less than 500 mgs and was 8 1/2 inches long (I knew he was going to be a big boy). He came out with no heartbeat and because of that we decided that we were going to have him cremated and his ashes would be spread at the Garden of Hope with all of the other babies who died like he did. While we were looking at all of his things, we decided that even though he didn't have a heartbeat when he was born we wanted to give him a name because he is going to be with us forever. Jackson LOVES the name Landon, but we have already decided that if he have a little boy who lives with us on Earth that we are going to name him Jace. I decided that since Jackson loves that name so much that it would be perfect to name our angel baby, Landon. So, now we can address him by his name rather than little boy or "it" (which I despise). Each day gets a little bit better, but there are many lingering emotions that will last always. He is our precious guardian angel that the Lord needed to call home well before we wanted him to go. Another cool thing Jackson and I decided to do is sign up for the Cowtown 10K and run it for Landon. We are going to get shirts made of his tiny handprints and footprints that the nurses took and have the words "Running for Landon" on there too. I think it's going to be a perfect way to honor him. I also bought a necklace last night on Etsy that has angel wings, a heart, a cross and his initial on it. I will cherish this necklace and wear it with pride!