The Turning of a Page...

When I was a child I grew up going to church. I did the whole confirmation in 6th grade, summer mission work (locally), and attended Sunday School every Sunday. When I got in to high school we stopped going to church as much because of my brothers' sports and my cheerleading comps that would take place on Sunday mornings. It's not something we planed on doing, but I guess the busyness of life got in the way. When Jackson and I got married we didn't get married in a church because neither of us belonged to one, and at the time that didn't really matter to me very much. The first year of our marriage we lived in Arizona and I didn't even really ever think about going to church, I guess because I was more concerned with trying to get back home. Then, when we moved home we lived with my mom for awhile and when we did buy our first house I planned on attending a church, but just never did. We sold our house in Bedford, and moved to Keller I thought really hard the first year about starting to go to church, but again we just never "got around" to it. Laine started MDO at a Christian based church and she would ask why we didn't go to church on Sundays so last Easter we decided to attend a church down the street from our house. I had heard good things about it, so we decided to visit. During the service, Jackson and I just didn't feel like the church was somewhere we would like to attend regularly, so we never went again. Laine would still ask almost every time we drove by a church, why we didn't go and I told her each time, "We will soon, baby". When I found out we were going to have another baby, I thought to myself that as soon as the baby was born, we would find a church home. Well the baby was born, and we didn't get to raise him because I was told that God needed him in heaven more than we needed him on Earth. In the back of my mind, I truly believed that but at the same time I was so detached from the church and God that I couldn't embrace that thought. When we lost him I knew that if I didn't mend my relationship with Jesus Christ and the church that there would be a good chance that I may never see my sweet boy again, so that's what I've been doing ever since. I truly choose to believe that God knew I needed Him and while he may not have "taken" Landon from me so I could find my way to Christ again, I do think he gave Landon to me so that I could open my eyes and start to accept the church as a part of my life again. It gives me peace to know that my connection to God and Jesus is through my angel baby. I LOVE that I can go in to church on Sunday mornings and listen to a sermon that every week I believe was written for me and pray in a sanctuary of people who all share the same love as I do, and above all I can spend one hour a week with my baby who lives under the care of God. If there is one thing I can do as Landon's mom to ensure that I will get to see him again one day is reconnect myself with our Lord and Savior, then that's what I am going to do. Not to mention, that Laine will grow up in a house that serves the Lord and she will have that knowledge of his love then that is enough of a reason for me. I feel so happy, at peace, loved, and calm when I go to the service on Sunday mornings. I'm proud to say that in the near future we will become members of White's Chapel in Southlake. This is truly a turning of a page.